thoughtoveryou

i keep finding new epiphanies in life to learn and grow from

its really wierd to find yourself adapting to your own self...its not that i havent found myself yet, i know exactly who i am its just i keep adapting the world around me i guess.

im pretty sure this is a 100% common thing for anybody



i feel extremely vagrant lately.
i have to be out of my house by oct 1st....yay for my stepmother hating me and telling my father lies about me lying and her decieiving her own daughter to do the same to my father. once again yay. oh and speaking of yay, she told my father i was doing cocaine! i have and never will touch that fucking stupid drug. whoever is reading this saying "oh you've never tried it so you dont know". screw you i know. ive seen peoples life fuck up instantly when touching that bull shit.


so i wrote on a post it sticker "YAY FOR YAY" and my father asked me about it and i told him so he wanted me to take it down and i said "im not hiding my love for drugs dad".

i am really glad i can keep a sense of humor because if not then i would be a dead man.



oh, today at work there were these mice trying to enter the restaurant and something horrible happened.

i am hating that time of my life over and over.

memories can suck sometimes.


ive been dwelling on my mother for the past 6 hours straight because she now has 3 jobs and i am shit ass broke and want to send her money and notes telling her how much i appreciate her and love her.


mistakes are a bad thing and i apologize to the ones who feel the pain.




i dont think i should be posting this actually

its really fucking weird though

anyway its all fixed and tyler is my brother i love him and he should call me more or at least when he doesnt have a problem just to say hi cause i do that to him as much as i can.


but i really am in love and want to keep it that way

i will try and keep in touch because it seems that i have been hiding away in texas away from you floridians out there.miss you guys and will see you soon hopefully.

live life live love


love
michael

hm


finally talked with my father about the major mistakes in his life.
i feel really good about that.

aside from that i dont feel good about missing the opportunity (which would have been short) to hang out with old friends so im sorry to anyone who thinks im an ass for not calling them back.

i truly am.
i just dont want to go back to jail and i honestly cant do that to myself right now in life.

im inches away from being off probation and my probation officer thinks im a walking radio.


i just had a long ass conversation with my brother why underground hip hop is better than young jeezy.

whatev er

my mother is my new hero...shes everything i want to be when i grow up and i envy her life. Its really nice, except i dont want to be married to a man and especially a man who says more words in a day than any other person ive ever met in my fucking life.

oh and by the way...i dont fucking think im better than anybody else to the people who like leaving nasty messages on my phone. I believe in peace love and UNITY, and if you knew that you would have never said those fucking words.



think before you speak (that includes myself)


love
michael paul

life is way too fast paced to take for granted...its going to be weird when i have nothing to do and so much time to do it.


love
mp kroog



ps. i hate working so often

im not barefoot nor do i have a garden (unfortunately) but if i did it would include some daisies, lilies, tulips, about a dozen venus fly traps and a couple of magnolia trees.

This is better than a contessa mix of components to make one night built to perfection:

1 handful of balls (golf preferably for those pervs)
2 golf clubs
2 tickets to a movie
1 automobile preferably fast..but not too fast
and last but not least on the list
1 girl that makes life so much more than life itself, an eye opener to regions beyond, a lover, and a friend.





---i promise my next entry will be about my crazy fucking dream in the sky but right now i have that last ingredient to talk to--------


mp kroog

this is my favorite song as of right now:


When they kick out your front door
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head
Or on the trigger of your gun

When the law break in
How you gonna go?
Shot down on the pavement
Or waiting in death row

You can crush us
You can bruise us
But you'll have to answer to
Oh, Guns of Brixton

The money feels good
And your life you like it well
But surely your time will come
As in heaven, as in hell

You see, he feels like Ivan
Born under the Brixton sun
His game is called survivin'
At the end of the harder they come

You know it means no mercy
They caught him with a gun
No need for the Black Maria
Goodbye to the Brixton sun

You can crush us
You can bruise us
But you'll have to answer to
Oh-the guns of Brixton

When they kick out your front door
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head
Or on the trigger of your gun

You can crush us
You can bruise us
And even shoot us
But oh- the guns of Brixton

Shot down on the pavement
Waiting in death row
His game was survivin'
As in heaven as in hell

ok

i coexist between myself and where i want to be.
maybe i make promises i cant keep.
and maybe im a fullfiller.



I know where i am in life is where i am supposed to be.

Its like the earth on its axis...because of that it gives us our spring, our summer, fall, and winter. I met you when i was on a bridge about to jump off.
I met you when i needed you.
I still need you.
My little faults and follies have brought us together.

I miss the feverish feeling i get when i feel like we are thinking the exact same thing at the same time. Like today when that bird almost killed us because he thought my car was a twinkie.
i cant explain in actuality...i felt like we're
both on the same page
reading the same book.

Its kinda magical.

kinda like that blue dot.
and kinda like your heart freckle that you wont let me point a camera lenses at.

I want to share everything and anything with you.
I might end my sentences with periods but our relationship will ever contain one
i think it will be endless for a long time




john fahey makes the acoustie ever so contagious.
im shoveling 150 for http://www.guitarcenter.com/shop/product/Gretsch-Guitars-G4530-Americana-LimitedEdition-Wild-West-Sweethearts-Guitar-?full_sku=512847%2e002




live love/love life
mp kroog



ps im changing my last name to kroog so its kinda like robert moog..i just have to invent something really cool and innovative....i'll get right on that

I WENT TO JAIL!


again!

i think im there...everyday of my life becomes the best day of my life and i haven't regretted anything for at least 4 months ironically. I know i am young but i have never felt this way before..and I CANT BELIEVE THAT'S HOW YOU SPELL FELT. weird .

kill bill and the smell of brownies will always put me in the mood.

my woman looks the best to me whenever she just gets out of the shower and doesn't do anything to her hair.I suggested she should always do that and she said i was smoking retard again.


live love and love life

michael

i cant stop listening to foreigner and van halen...its my 80's blood
its a shame van halen is not back together and playing hand in hand with david lee roth AND eddie van.
i guess some people just have their differences.

there are always a time for the right thing to say..to put you in the mood that makes you feel you are at the right place at exactly the right time...who knows maybe there is'nt.

look up cubism...either do that or ask the all mighty will and his new ways of seeing life and the earth.



Colorado is so beautiful i just want to live here for the rest of my life.
everything is accommodated where you are not accommodated.



after 19 years i think im almost used to the shitty things in life.
nah ive been able to cope since i was 12, before that i would cry in class and have to go this counselor in fourth grade because of all the commotion at home.


live love and love life

michael

life has been changing everyday..and probation is by far the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

my head hurts with every passing moment and i wont take any meds for it cause i kind of like my kidneys.
i think its funny how everybody talks about leaving their home life and they never do it, but whatever it does take a lot of planning and money. I wish money was overrated cause i hate it. I want to go back to the bargaining days where you had to haggle to get what you wanted.
i am going snowboarding soon! its going to be fucking rad.

i just bought this new cd and its really fucking good. the band is called the appleseed cast.

ive been addicted to calling this moron:

602-435-3694


He's an idiot and his name is Luke Johnson.

I called him a turn table twat today and he was so taken back by it and when i called him back to apologize i decided i would tell him he was a bubble bottomed ass face and he said he remembered me.

I miss you ian champoux.

lets see here....
i honked at this one kid the other day and he was standing on a median where there were lots of cars passing by (hence the standing in the middle of the road and not not standing in the middle of the road). so anyway, after i honked he was startled sat down and put his head down.
i feel kind of bad, but of course as far as my maturity goes i laughed hysterically and just drove on.

other than that, no regrets here
life is good
me and courtney have this tendency to go to her house and play aladdin on snes over and over.
im the king of that game(shes the queen).


i gots me a keeper


love
michaelpaul

its fckuing snowing

wtf


cocaine christmas!


life is good

fuck anything that moves

yeah!





when live gives you lemons, then you have some lemons.

life cannot get any better....honestly my day to day activities are flawless.

megan...im really sorry i couldnt hang out with you more than we did, you havent changed a bit.
hunter....dude i should have spent more time with you too and i wish i went to go paint that wall with you because i have been painting left and right, plus im starting to turn all the fire hydrants gold around my city and its been in the paper twice now.haha

i start school again soon, should be fun.
i miss jamming so much.

"dripped up and draped out"ahhah


jacob cox has the prettiest hair of all the land

love
michael

i have seen everything in the past 3 days at 450 mph

i wish i had invented the love bug so i would have a fat wallet
then again i am grateful
very much so
mockingbird station likes me lately
my brother is in fucking town...holy shit
its about fucking time...he reminds me of myself when i was at that age
its wierd to see me liking everything about everything but its been occurring more than often


not enough love to go around....anybody want some?

today is community service day (for me that is)

hopefully they will let me slack a bit cause i dont feel like picking up ciggarette buds on the side of the road....especially now that i quit smoking.
i miss florida a lot but thats not to say texas is boring...it just doesnt have my old friends and downtown disney ha

so uh when is clermont going to get that mall they have been fighting for FOR 9 YEARS!

ha...i work at the mall that i live 3 min away from....there are so many richy riches around here

there is a ipod dispencer in the mall.....so kids can take there parents credit cards and buy 3 if they wanted.

Most of the poeple i surround myself with are not like that at all...except for scott but he spends all of his money on DRRUUUGGGSSS
haha...and his parents dont care.

im really close to convincing courtney to move back to florida with me.....its looking like it will happen so everyone there..prepare to meet your worst nightmare


not really


thanks ian for updating me on the times
now i have 4003 songs in my music folder y itunes


christmas....im hopefully getting a head unit for my car....its going to make my life especially after ian broke my cd player last time

its not truly ians fault...he was just pressing eject and putting in a cd at the same time...who knew it would break...and who knew ford dealerships are bitches and the audio technician only comes when he feels like it since he travels from dealership to dealership.....ass hole

i listen to the radio a lot....so if you want to quiz me on 60's to early 90's rock/alternative i will know almost everything

love
michael

so much has happened since i last wrote in this doobie doobie

hm

i like it when my friends call me shitfaced drunk and tell me they miss me.
will fucking cook needs to make his move
joe being homeless makes me sad cause i dont like it people are homeless...hopefully he wont drive brittany up a wall.

tomorrow is madrigal dinner night with courtney...i have no clue what to expect..her dad hates me with a mother fucking passion but its all good cause she doesnt seem to care.


she has this thing where she calls me kid, i dont get it.

I saw the second dead person ive ever seen the other day i didnt like it.
But on the other side it makes me appreciate my life more.

HOLY SHIT, i never even dreamt of seeing this but today i saw a full circled rainbow....it was purely amazing

love
michael

i always feel like im behind in the current times.
who is to say that i might be behind when i might even be ahead.
all i know is what occurs infront of my eyes and what heppens in front of anybody elses is told to me through some way, whether people take the time to tell me (which i am very much appreciable about).
those who still call me occassionally have made me realize you are the ones who still care.
will cook...i need to call you..by far..i have missed your calls at least 3 times in the past month and now i need to call you back.

anyway.
nothing really new
i have a new baby sister...her name is olivia.
she weighs 5 15 1/2 lbs and already has a full set of hair.
she has midnight blue eyes and is the most content baby i have every seen.
this baby has made me appreciate life a hell of a lot more..not that i didnt before its just that a newborn thats more content than i (mostly because i can express my thoughts through words and letters and she cant)

i miss all my friends in florida even though you guys are the only ones who read this junk.

i missed the damn melvins and im pretty pissed about that.but im going to see the who so that definetily makes up for it.
i talked to courtney for over 3 hours last night even though most of the talking was "what did you say" cause we were both muttering due to deleriousness and being tired.

im going to give her a some water balloons to throw at kids getting out of school..ha
(the perfect gift eh)

short and sweet
love
michael

i havent cried in a long ass time